- Scott Woronuik

More ideas to help you "lose the fear speaking in public".

Because so many people as so nervous about speaking in front of a group, I thought I should visit this problem again.

Let me underscore - speaking in public doesn’t have to make you feel you’re going to a fate worse than death. For many people, however, that is just what it does feel like.

The Book of Lists rates "Fear of speaking in front of a group" as the #1 Fear. Fear of Death is #6 or #7!

Through the years I have asked thousands of people in my workshops and seminars what makes them so fearful about having to give a talk. The answers were many. The common denominator was the same however.

They were always focused on themselves. How they felt. What they thought about when they had to get up to speak, or indeed had to speak when seated. They were always focused on themselves.

When you speak you have to focus on the people you are going to share your thoughts with and what you want to happen when you do that!

Here are some of the many reasons I have received. If they mirror you feelings, you will know how to ‘get over them’. If you have other problems, let me know. I’ll move you to the space you want and need to be.

"People will see me blush!"

• Most of the time when you think your face is red as a raspberry; those listening to you may see a slight ‘blush’. They will assume you are just enthused about what you are talking about. That is unless you say, "Oh I’m so nervous I feel my face going red!"
• When you call attention to something like that, not only are you off focus but you have lead your listeners off the road you want them to take! Just keep focused on what you have to say to get people to act on your ideas. That is a big job for your brain – let it do its job!

"I’m nervous speaking in front of people don’t I know."

• Even when you are in front of an audience you haven’t met, they are not complete strangers. You may be talking at a conference. Conferences are held by and for people with a common goal, or belonging to similar professional groups, and so on. So you do know who they are.
• In my book Speak With Power we look at how you analyze your audience. Let me just say here that whenever you give a talk to one person or one hundred and one people, know as much as you can about them. Also, feel strength in the fact that they wanted to hear what YOU had to say...in a meeting in your office, in your community, or discussing something at home.

"I might forget."

• We all forget. So don’t feel you are special. Have you ever got up from a chair and gone into another room, and couldn’t remember why you went there? Of course you have,
• So what is the first thing you do? You go back to where you were, remember what you were doing, and nine times out of ten you’ll remember!
• When you are speaking, it all else fails remember this: no one knows you have forgotten anything because they haven’t heard it yet! If there is a fact you want to share, simply say, "I had a fact I wanted to share right now, but I’ve forgotten it. I’ll share it when I remember." People will forgive and forget you forgot!
• What causes people to suddenly become a wet dishrag; to feel one’s face is the color of a ripe tomato; to feel with certainty that people can not only hear the knees knocking together but every heart beat as well?
• Simply put, the answer is focus. Again, I stress, as complex as your brain is, it normally focuses on "one big thought" at a time. When you are fearful, it’s because you are focused on YOU. You are wondering how people will perceive you.
• That is not what communicating successfully is about. Your focus should be on the person or people you are talking to. Focused on what you want them to do when you finish talking. When you re-focus on your presentation you will re-direct this nervous energy in the right direction.
• In other words, don’t internalize your fear; use the energy it creates to reach out to your audience.

"I might make a mistake"

• Everyone makes mistakes. People who never make mistakes are people who have never tried! You won't find people like that at the top of the ladder of success in work or life!

***Cooper Communicating Rule***
The problem isn't the mistake - it’s the way you handle it!

Do as I do - use this story as your guide - it works!

Year ago someone told me that the people who weave those beautiful Persian and are renowned for their exquisite work, always weave a mistake into their work - because only God is perfect! It works for them. It works for me. Let it work for you!

Remember for most of the people listening to you, "Speaking in front of others" is also their greatest fear! If it isn’t at the top of their list it very close. When you carry on, they know there is hope for them. They are not there to criticize - they are there to listen!

As I recall in my Speak With Power book, when I was first appointed Daily Commentator for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, I was worried that I would not be able to deliver top caliber commentaries every day. Dorothea Cox, a very wise woman and the person who hired me, gave me this advice. I share it with you. I have silently thanked Dorothea many times in my career.

• "Look at the top baseball players. They don't bat a thousand. Just try to establish the best batting average you can. If you do that all your work will be good - and some will be superb".
• My advice to you is,
• "Look at what makes you nervous or fearful you when asked to speak. Start working on the sensible way to ‘get over it"! I guarantee you’ll soon be looking for opportunities to share your opinions, your ideas, and your knowledge! If my clients can do, it so can you!